With Valentine’s Day two weeks away, many couples and friends are preparing to celebrate. But holidays can also intensify feelings of grief, especially for those who have lost loved ones.
It’s a topic David McClain and Jamal Jones have explored deeply through their podcast, "Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death."
RELATED STORY | Fathers turn shared grief into podcast working through emotional recovery
A tragic twist of fate brought the two men together. During a children’s play date, the dads met and discovered they had both lost their wives. From that connection, they turned shared grief into a safe space for candid conversations about emotional recovery.
When it comes to grief during the holidays, McClain told Scripps News it’s important to embrace it.
“I think you always know it’s there and you just manage from that knowing it’s going to get better, it’s not going to occupy your life and existence,” he said. “So it’s really that sense of remembrance, being around people you enjoy, and just accepting and remembering what does bring you joy and put smiles on your face.”
Meanwhile, feelings of loss don't only apply to people who have lost a loved one. It can also happen when somebody you love has a chronic disease or illness. Jones said forgiveness is one of the biggest things that's helped him through hard times.
“You have to be forgiving of yourself and understand that you’re going through a lot just like everybody around you,” he said. “... Ground yourself and those closest to you. Connect with those closest to you. You know, you would realize that communicating and talking and understanding and sharing and telling those stories will bring a closer bond. But also realize that, hey, you’re feeling the same exact way as everybody around you.”
Jones added it’s important to accept the ups and downs that come with grief.
“It’s absolutely okay,” he said. “You know, I think you have to be comfortable navigating all of the different emotions that you’re going through as long as they’re safe and you’re not hurting yourself or hurting anybody else. You know, you really just have to accept them. They’re going to flow in and flow out. They’re going to feel — some of them are going to feel uncomfortable, going to feel abnormal, but they’re a normal part of the process. There is no perfect, you know, recipe or perfect process for grief and coping.”
For McClain, a strong support system is vital.
“It’s everything,” he said. “It bolsters you, it buoys you. Those people know your history as well and I think when you have that decades of friendship or more with people — maybe less — just those people are present in your life. That means absolutely everything because you jump ahead knowing they understand and love you and understand what you’ve undergone.”
Watch Scripps News' full interview with David McClain and Jamal Jones in the video player above.
